In 2018, I wrote an article called, Never Too Late To Be A Late Starter. It was a post directed at people that had decided to make a change in their lives at a late stage of their lives and were fearful that time had passed them by.
This was one of the first articles I had written when I had decided that I wanted to start my coaching practice. At that time I felt so strongly about this message “its never too late” I continue to use it as my own, personal affirmation. This was the group I had decided I wanted to work with, the Late Starters.
As time went on, I felt like I had drifted away from my message. In the need to make the venture a success I tried every tip, trick and hack trying to attract any individual that wanted or may benefit from coaching no matter what their need. failing to fine-tuning my attention to support and aid my fellow late starters.
I started to focus solely on growing and being successful as soon as possible. It started to become overwhelming and stressful. Its was as if I was in a rush. As if I didn’t have enough time. Then it hit me. I started to feel as if I had started too late. I had stopped listening to my very own message.
This was an impactful revelation for me. How could I coach people around starting a new life, late in life If I myself didn't believe it to be true?
I had to revisit the mindset I had when I started this journey. The mindset that believes that we are capable of change no matter what stage in life we are, no matter what society thinks, we are capable of great things no matter what stage in life we are at.
My reason for mentioning this is I recently started working with a client that had contacted me via a directory that I no longer subscribe to (one of the many avenues I’d used to attract my clients). As I hadn’t responded, she sought me out and contacted me directly. As we talked, I asked what it was that had led her to choose me as her coach. She mentioned that she had read my article Never Too Late To Be A Late Starter and felt that she needed somebody that believed this.
I DO believe this, and I am more excited than I was before to demonstrate that this is true for me and for any of you that are ready to take a chance. Its never too late to be a late starter and it never too late to be happy. Let’s get it done
When you feel like everything you do goes wrong and your goal appears to be getting further away. Here is a strategy to bring things back on track.
As we all know, when we have a goal to reach there are a series of things we need to do to get there. When we’re in full pro-active mode, we go through our day ticking off each step with ease and before you know it………..Goal Achieved!
But sometimes, no matter what you do, no matter how much you stick to the plan, nothing seems to go right. You’re not reaching the target or getting the desired outcome and despite all your hard work……..no results. When this happens, it can be quite easy for you to become disheartened, discouraged and just want to give up.
Instead, follow this quick strategy to get back in the game.
Stop what you’re doing. Whatever it is just stop it. If you carry on own this dead-end path it can truly damage your morale, in turn, lose faith in your ability to reach your goal so just Stop!
Regroup, gather your thoughts and reassess the situation. What’s not working? Why is it not working? How can I change it?
Like flat-pack furniture, lay everything out on the floor in front of you, take a step back and look at things from a different angle.
What’s not working? Sometimes, what seems to be the best approach may not always be the best approach for you.
Why is it not working? Again, We are all individuals so whatever approach you take needs to suit you and feel right with you.
How can I change it? Change it. It’s as simple as that. Everybody has their own way of doing something. If you watch a footballer setting up t take a penalty they all have their own ritual and their own approach when taking the shot. Whilst having a different approach to the ball they all have the same outcome, just in their own way.
3: Start Again
It’s important to get right back out there with the new plan. Get back on the bike as they say. A fresh approach.
This quick and easy strategy will help you to stay on track when things seem to be going wrong before you lose faith.
Working in this field of change, one thing that has fascinated me is the number of colourful reasons that people are unable to reach their true potential.
It always starts with, If it wasn’t for ..... I would be successful now or if so and so hadn’t ...... I’d be living my best life.
So often I listen to people explain why they are not where they want to be and it always seems to be because of something or somebody else. 98% of the time it’s not because 98% of the time it’s you.
So when I hear that my response is” That sounds like a “You” Problem.
Now I think it might be necessary for me to give a few examples of what a “You” problem is.
A man can't believe that he has received a parking ticket. He is outraged that the company has charged him and why this keeps happening to him. He rages on that the ticket machines were not working and he was unable to get a ticket and it said that the maximum stay was 2 hours. when asked how long he had stayed in the car park his answer is 3 hours. Sound like a You problem.
A woman sits with her friends complaining that she has not been given a pay rise. She quibbles and moans about how she has been overlooked then goes on to say that had she had gotten a pay raise she would have definitely put more effort into meeting her deadlines and getting in on time but not now. hmmm. Sound like a You problem?
A handsome man sits with a friend discussing their lives and he says that he would have been so much more successful if he had had somebody behind him pushing him into his education. if he had just had somebody telling him what he should do he would be in such a better position than he is now.
Now example 3 does not seem as clear cut as the others but if I was speaking to this individual I would tell him that this my friend is a You problem. In fact, I did because that handsome man in example 3 is me. I would always say that if I just had somebody to tell me to do this subject or to get better grades or head for this career I would be so much better off. I stead I was left to my own devices and I flop. It was so easy for me to point the finger at somebody else because then it wasn't my fault. I didn't have to take responsibility for my shortcomings.
So many people go through life with this mindset. continuing to blame someone or something for not being where or who they want to be in life. With this mindset, they continue on their way, trapped in their self made prison as a victim of unfortunate circumstances.
All is not lost though. There is one really good thing about a "You" problem.
If the problem starts with you then it ends with you. You have total control over a "you" problem which means, if you can control it you can fix it.
The first step in fixing a You problem is recognising that it is a "you" problem. Take responsibility for your actions. When you can acknowledge that you have placed yourself in this position, it's easier to take the next step
Once you have accepted responsibility the next step you need to take is to strategise your plan to address the said problem. Now that you know it's you how are you going to change it? How are you going to improve from this?
Want that pay rise? Make sure you're meeting your deadlines, coming in on time. Show them why you should be awarded that raise.
Want to avoid a parking ticket? follows the conditions of the car park. Stick to the time limits, the list goes on…..
Take responsibility.. It's as simple as that. Once you've worked out what changes you need to make. Make them and be consistent.
Simply take responsibility for your actions and you’ll be on your way to taking control and living your best life.
I am a firm believer that we have the resources within in us to make the changes we want in our lives. I’m sure for some of you there was a time in your life when you were faced with a trying situation and you managed to overcome, you may say you just dealt with it. However, when another situation arises, it could be very similar to something you've dealt with before you've clammed up, becomes stressed, unsure how you will be able to manage. You then start to believe that you're not capable, thus starts the limiting belief. I worked with a client that experienced a very similar thing.
When she came to me she was sure that she wanted to change her career. She was an office manager, a very good one but she wanted more from life. She wanted to work with people and would use her spare time to volunteer whenever she could. She had received great feedback but with all of this in place, she still felt that she may not be good enough. She felt that in order to be good enough she would need to do more training. This was where the limiting belief lived. She was not confident that she would be able to complete her training.
Deeper in our sessions I discovered that she was dyslexic. Although she had only tested at school she had not been tested officially as the fear was if she was she would be labelled.
Further on in our session we discovered that she had passed her GCSE and went on to take and pass her A Level. She went to university but unfortunately, she did not finish. She found it difficult to complete her assignments on time. This is where the block came from. She believed that she was not good enough to study because she didn’t complete her degree.
Walking her back down her timeline, stopping at a point where she felt most confident we got to the time where she passed her GCSE's. "Did you get good grades?" I asked. "Yes", she replied confidently. "As & Bs". “How about your A levels" I continued. "Yeah. I did well, I got into university". she replied.
"So what kind of support did you receive for your dyslexia?" I probed, "I didn't want anybody to know so I didn't get any support". I held the space for a moment and It was at that moment she realised. Despite having a learning difficulty, she was able to complete her exams and get into university without any extra support. The shift was amazing. In the beginning, she was only able to see the failure but when she acknowledged her achievements her confidence bloomed.
She later decided that she would be investing in some training and was even toying with the idea of returning to university to finish her degree. All this in just three sessions.
Often we are held back by the belief that we are unable to achieve, but by looking back you can find that you have overcome many things in your past, and by harnessing the energy and the confidence from that moment and pulling forward into your present, you'll have the strength to build your future.
If you’re interested in finding out more about this or you’d like some help with something you're stuck with why not send me a message I’d be more than happy to help.
How many of you want to make a change in your life? It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be a career change or starting your own business or maybe starting a new hobby.
Now how many of you haven’t started or done anything about that change you want to make? Now, there are many different reasons why you haven’t done anything. Many reasons and excuses as to why you haven’t look into that pottery class you so wanted to try or researched what transferable skills you have for the new career you want. These are called limiting beliefs…..and they suck!!
There are so many different limiting beliefs and most of you out there will be struggling with a few of them, but there is one I want to focus on right now.
How many of you have not started your journey because you think its too late, you're too old or you don’t have enough time because it will take too long?
I want to address this because its a belief I can understand because I’ve struggled with this belief. I’m sitting here right now, writing this post, I’m still studying and still learning but there was a time when I wondered “What is the point?” “I’ve left it too late.” I had heard countless amounts of times that businesses take years to become successful so what would be the point in trying to start so late in my life. When these thoughts get in your head they can really halt progress. So I asked myself this question.
“What else do I plan to do with the time if I’m not going to use it to change my life?”
What else was I going to do with the time? If I wasn’t going to use the time to get things started, do everything necessary to make this business successful then what else was I going to do, I mean THE TIME IS GOING TO PASS ANYWAY!!!
Think about it.
If you feel that you need to get a degree in Business Management in order to get your new startup started but you think 3 years is too long as you are 42 and you won’t complete it until you’re 45. Please tell me what you plan to do with the time? 3 years will pass and you will be kicking yourself instead of praising yourself, donning your cap and gown ticking off another box on your To Do List for Greatness.
It is never too late to be a late starter and you are never too old to begin your journey, no matter how long it may take.
Did You Know?
Colonel Sanders was 65 years old before he started his Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise.
Top designer Vera Wang didn’t start her designing career until she was 40. Before designing she was a figure skater and a journalist.
And the list goes on.
The reason these people mentioned above, along with many others have achieved so much is because they didn’t allow themselves to be limited by the beliefs. Neither should you.
So…………I ask you all again.
“Do you want to change your life?” “Why haven’t you started yet?”
Late Starter Chronicles: Take Your Time, Trust The Process.
23 Jan, 2021
Stop! Regroup! Start Again!
29 Feb, 2020
Sounds Like A “You” Problem.
9 Mar, 2019
Gaining Strength From The Past
19 Jan, 2019
Never Too Late To Be A Late Starter
1 Jan, 2018